Sunday, November 27, 2011

Spam and the FBI

I got this email today:

Anti-Terrorist And Monetary Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters In Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building 935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially (in caps, thank you) inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigation (again in caps)with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you legally won the sum of $10.5 Million USD from a Lottery Company outside the United States of America. During our investigation we discovered that your e-mail* won the money from an Online Balloting System and we have authorized this winning to be paid to you via a Certified Cashier's Check.  *[I wonder since my email won the money, do I have to share it with Google?]

Normally, it will take up to 5 business days for an International Check (love the caps) to be cashed by your local bank. We have successfully notified this company on your behalf that funds are to be drawn from a registered bank within the United States Of America (so respectful) so as to enable you cash the check instantly without any delay, henceforth the stated amount of $10.5 Million USD has been deposited with Bank Of America.

We have completed this investigation and you are hereby approved to receive the winning prize as we have verified the entire transaction to be Safe and 100% risk free, (excellent in caps and no risk) due to the fact that the funds have been deposited at Bank Of America you will be required to settle the following bills directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction whom is located in Lagos, Nigeria. According to our discoveries before he can relase the Deposit slip for you to go and confirm the Check in any Bank of America Close to you. Do make sure you get in touch with him rigth away before it is too late.  (oops, missing the cap here) you were required to pay for the following -

(1) Deposit Fee's (tsk tsk, the apostrophe policy will cite this for sure)( Fee's paid by the company for the deposit into an American Bank which is )......$100
(2) Cashier's Check Conversion Fee (and another)( Fee for converting the Wire Transfer payment into a Certified Cashier's Check ).$50
(3) Shipping Fee's (and another) ( This is the charge for shipping the Cashier's Check to your home address and this fee includes Insurance)......$100

The total amount for everything is $250.00 (Two Hunderd and Fifty US Dollars). We have tried our possible best to indicate that this $250.00 should be deducted from your winning prize but we found out that the funds have already been deposited at Bank Of America and cannot be accessed by anyone apart from you the winner, therefore you will be required to pay the required fee's to the Agent in-charge of this transaction via Western Union Money Transfer Or Money Gram.

In order to proceed with this transaction, you will be required to contact the agent in-charge ( Mr. Michael Larry) via e-mail.  Kindly look below to find appropriate contact information:

REMOVED BY ME. Though it would be fun to spam the losers. 

Should in case you need any more informations in regards to this notification, feel free to get back to us so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have received your contract fund as stated. Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.


Anti-Terrorist And Monetary Crimes Division
FBI Headquarters In Washington, D.C.

I think the FBI could use Grammar Girl.  Tomorrow we are back at it. Happy Monday.  

1 comment:

Paul's Blog said...

The Apostrophe Police have reviewed and do not approve this e-mail.

The Apostrophe Police