Non sequitors and 51¢

Non sequitor.  I looked it up online.  From our friends at Merriam-Webster:

"...an inference that does not follow from the premises; specifically : a fallacy resulting from a simple conversion of a universal affirmative proposition or from the transposition of a condition and its consequent."

Who writes like this? I don't even know what that means.  But I love the phrase.  Regardless, my life has been a series of these of late, including here.   Last week, it was Amazon.com.

Stage:  I get a bill from Amazon for 51¢.  I don't buy things that cost 51¢.  But I can't find my Amazon card.  And I can't remember my password.  So I can't log in.   (I know, I know - don't write me about this)

Calling GE Money (which is the Amazon credit card) is like something out of a Monty Python skit.   First thing I notice when I talk to "Sharon" is that there is some crazy party in the background, complete with horns, hooting, and singing.  It's so loud that I can't hear Sharon.

Really.

I explain my dilemma. Between hoots, hollers, and singing in the background, Sharon suggests I cancel the card.  I agree.  She does.  Then I ask what we are going to do about the 51¢. Sharon tells me to log in and look at the charge.

I pause.  I can't, I say.  1) I can't remember my password;  2)  I can't find my card needed to reset the password;  and 3) we have canceled the card.

She pauses.  I say, I need to now DISPUTE the charges because I can't log in to review the charges.
She asks why I didn't say that I needed a password reset instead of a new card.
I say because I do need a new card because I can't find my old one.
She asks if it was stolen.
I have no idea, I say.  I can't find it so I don't know if it was stolen. 

So now she is annoyed because she has to read me a VERY LONG explanation of disputing charges that involve investigations and red envelopes in the mail.   The party is still going on in the background.  It's raucous.  She is missing out on the fun for 51¢.

It's 51¢.  I tell her that I will just pay it.  But I can't now, because the card is canceled.  I don't know how to dispute something that I can't see.  

John Cleese, you would be proud.